Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Alexander Petersen's LiveJournal:

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Friday, January 4th, 2008
6:52 pm	Back in Black So I hope everyone made the best of the last two weeks. Or at least had fun, or got a shiny new thing to break. I know I did. I've decided to make an effort to write more often, i.e. every day or more. I'm warming up to take more schooling in the area of creative writing and feel the urge to flex my writing muscles. To that end, let the life be sliced. I brought my running shoes and some workout gear with me when I traveled to visit family out in the mid-west. In ten days I had the opportunity to go running once. Every other time it was either snowing, or freezing cold, or some other thing was taking up my day (like Christmas). But the one time fell on the last day I want to spend the afternoon making myself tired. New Year's Eve. I still went, ran probably about 3-4 miles before I was done, and I still went out for the party, but its hard to stay energetic and festive when you deplete that many calories from your system in that short a time. I spent most of the evening watching a marathon of the show Mythbusters. Easily watched over five hours of it before the obligatory ball drop thing. When I got back home, I jumped right back into my old routine but discovered I suddenly had to drop back about 10-20 pounds on each weight training exercise. I guess spending two weeks in a small apartment not moving around too much and eating more than usual kinda softens you up. Indiana seemed strange to me. Everything is more widely spaced out, and Idianapolis is one big suburban commercial sprawl. They have these weird traffic patterns called "roundabouts" where instead of a stop sign you have a big circular island with a road around it and yield signs for the intersecting roads. So nobody really stops, you just slow down and swing around this thing in the middle of the street. And everybody drives so slow there. I don't think I've been anyplace in the U.S. where the speed limit was so tightly observed. I didn't see a lot of cops, so I'm not sure if this was a typical thing, or if it was because it snowed a couple times. Another thing is the liquor laws in Indiana. You can buy hard liquor and spirits in a grocery store, but no one sells alcohol on Sunday. They rope off the aisle in stores like Target. But the Vodka gift pack end caps were still open. This seems so bizzare to me. Also the distinct lack of tattoos, piercings, or otherwise rebellious appearance. Except one girl at the movie theater counter with an eye ring and pink hair. I guess I'm just used to seeing it around where I live, I expect other places to be similar. Every time I entered a store there with my nearly all black attire and leather longcoat on it didn't take long before I noticed I was being tailed by a plainsclothes security. Never ran into a problem, but they were always there in my periphery. So in summary, I don't think I'll every live in a mid-western state if I can help it. Too alien. The snow was nice though. (Comment on this)
Monday, November 26th, 2007
1:01 am	Some kind of crazy. So last week for some reason that defies all sane and logical forms of cognisant thought, I signed up for Nanowrimo. What is this strange thing, you ask? Well basically its a month where everybody celebrates the self-destructive process of writing a novel. In this case, 175 pages worth or about 50,000 words. Now, the concept is to sign up in October, and begin writing in November until the deadline at midnight on November 30th. I signed up a little over halfway into the process, with under two weeks to complete the effort, and at last count a little over four days left. Can I do it? We shall see. I've had lots of ideas bouncing around my brain for months and months and its long overdue to get these things down on paper (or cyberspace in this case) . A novel wasn't the original idea I had, but I like the Nanowrimo process: Just write. It doesn't matter if your grammar sucks, if your prose is stale, if you're characters are unbelieveable sacks of air, just write. Get it down, beat the deadline, finish it. 50,000 words in thirty days. After that, you can edit and rewrite and re-draft to your heart's content. But this is about just pure writing, output, and effort. I have a tendency to make things more difficult than they need to be, such as signing up for somewhat public displays of work with half the time allotted to complete it. I don't know why I do it, maybe out of some subconscious drive to prove that I'm better than the rest, or that I'm special somehow. Whatever the reason, I can honestly say this time, at least, I did this out of innocent ignorance. I have heard of Nanowrimo before, over the past couple of years, but usually too early and I would forget to come back, or too late and it was over. This time I was in the nick of time I think. So the reason I share all of this with you is to put a knife behind my foot, so to speak. Now that you all know I'm doing this, I can't back down without humiliating myself. I must complete this or face ridicule and disappointment from all my friends, and I just can't have that now, can I? Now if I survive the next few days and actually come through on this, I promise, to you and myself, that I will sign up next year at the proper time. And if I do complete it, in half the time, wouldn't that be something? Current Mood: optimistic (Comment on this)
Monday, October 29th, 2007
11:12 am	Weekends Sleep. Something I know I should need. Want. Desire even. Alas, it eluded me for the better part of last week. Insomnia, noisy friends of roomate playing video games, and a hungry cat do not help you find this elusive state of mental well being. But that doesn't matter now. Guitar Hero 3 is out. My finger tips are on the verge of bleeding and my wrist feels like it will release my hand at any moment. Rawk. But you know what else is great? NEXT weekend. 'Cuz you know what you should be doing next weekend? NeckoCon. Yes, yes you should do that, and visit me at the Yosh! Comics table. We have prints and posters to sell. Isn't that like a million hot dogs awesome? Good times. What else are you gonna do that weekend? Halloween will be over, you're not working, its too cold to play outside, and you're bored. NekoCon has cosplayers (like halloween) is indoors (heat), theres lots of cool things to check out (no boredom) and I guarantee you will see something that will make you laugh, or cry, or maybe both, so bring a camera. Now excuse me, my hands need first aid and the keyboard is not helping. -I'm still here. (Comment on this)
Saturday, September 29th, 2007
10:34 pm	Fall(ing) Fall is here and I can breathe easy again, figuratively and literally. With a slower business season comes new opportunities for my own projects and whimsical pursuits. For instance: Webcomic. Did so well we broke the server this month for three days. After much bullshitting on the their end and negotiating on ours, we found a new home and are plowing forward stronger than ever. Nekocon around the corner. Psyched. Education: Creative Writing degrees exist. Apparently. Looking into this presently. More on this as it develops. Writing: Failing to keep a steady pace as usual, but at least I'm thinking about it right? Right. I scribble down notes in a book I take with me to work and keep around the house. Ideas bubble up and some crystalize into glittering gems and others harden into shapeless gravel. Socializing: Suffering from the top three but more free time on the horizon. My network of people is grouped and I can't help being with one without another neglected. Never was good at that. Health: Improving. Diet and exercise and finding the harmony in both and balance between is challenging for me. Also annoyingly long term to find out if one solution works before trying another. Punching bags are great stress relief. Possible return to Krav Maga. Gonna shift gears here. (grinds) Ever experience a moment of perfect clarity? An epiphany? A space in time where you knew what it is you want? I think something like that happened a few weeks ago. I finally understood what everything had led up to at this moment, and I saw the end of the road of what I truly desired. The path, however, between that moment and that destination was shrouded from my sight. And never the one to dive headfirst into unplumbed depths, I'm feeling out what it is I need to build that path. One option is to use a vehicle I've been leaving collect dust on the drawing board, so to speak, and actually get it going like I've said. I guess too many rewrites and drafts puts a strain on me and I just need time away from it. I can't help but feel thats kind of like quitting on it, that I need to stick with it or I won't ever be able to breathe life into it. I think I'm too comfortable. Its too easy to just leave things the way they are because its not that bad. I'm not in any kind of crisis or desperate situation, and thats bad for my ambition. Is it horrible to need a reason to be motivated? I find myself being reminded what inspiration really means: to be moved by something, to really enjoy an experience, to completely become absorbed in a written work or a piece of art or even a movie. Those are the things that spur the sleeping form in my subconscious. A lethargic, dark beast that stirs every so often in the dank dungeon of my dreams, twitching. When I can feel that skulking around behind my eyes, I know I'm moving in the right direction. When I feel a stirring behind my chest, I know I have a need to fill. I just need to fill it. Current Mood: calm (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 29th, 2007
12:54 am	Therapy "Why do you think the world appears as it does to you?" The young man blinked, caught off guard by the simplicity of the question. "Because thats the way it is. The sky is blue, becuase its blue, the rain is wet because its wet, that's all," He replied. The thin man grinned, his face split by evenly space ivory that gleamed pale in the lamplight. "And that's where you're wrong about it." His forhead creased in a frown, the other thought, "About what?" The leer widened, "All of it!" His shoulders bounced in a silent chuckle, his thin hair shifting over his lanky shoulders. The thin man took a seat on the bench by the lamp, his back slouched over from too many years of bad posture. He removed a thin cigarette from his coat pocket and inhaled deeply before placing to his lips. Turning his head to the young man, smoke curling away from between his teeth, still revealed in a rictus like grin, the thin man spread his hands apart as if he was giving an offering to the other. "How many fingers do you see?" The other's frown deepend as he crossed his arms in front of himself. "Come on." "How many!" "Ten" The seated man closed his mouth and nodded, exhaling twin trails of smoke from his nostrils like some fire breathing beast of legend. The young man suddenly realized he didn't see the other actually light the cigarette. His arms began to slacken a bit, but an uneasy feeling crept into his mind. What was going on here? Ten days ago, everything was normal: second semester at school was almost done, he had a job interview in a week with a promising division at his father's company. He had friends, a girlfriend, no problems, everything going smooth. Then the dreams started. Weird stuff. Shadows that ate people, spidery things crawling out of the walls and stabbing feelers into him as he woke screaming. Half-memories and nightmares blending into each other. And then came the thin man. An email in his in-box showed up, an advertisment forwarded from a school counseling office. It was a clinic that offered 'alternative' psycho therapy - he assumed some kind of hippie new-age bullcrap. But what the hell, couldn't make the dreams any worse could it? The school didn't have any help, and he was leery of taking drugs from some short-order shrink. "That's what your eyes tell you. Close them." The young man sighed. Of course, this wasn't going much better, as things went. Seemed the staff was crazier than the clientelle. "All right, fine." "Now how many do I have?" "I don't know." "And if I told you?" The frown returned. "Well then I'd have to believe you, wouldn't I?" "Exactly!" The thin man shouted. He cackled, pulling the cigarette from his mouth and ashing it onto a tray by the bench. The young man opened his eyes agian, unfolding his arms and running a hand through his short hair. "Look, I don't see how any of this -" "Precisely! You don't see! So you only believe what you're told! You can't tell anything for yourself, so you must accept what you've been taught. The alternative is endless doubt and staggering through the dark." The thin man smiled again, cigarette caught between incisors. "Look, whats the point?" I mean I can see the sky and the ground and everything around me. What do you mean I can't see, and what does any of that have to do with why I can't sleep anymore?" "The thin man shot out of his seat and closed the distance between the two of them in a heart beat, cigarette an inch from the young man's nose, the scent of smoke heavily in his face. "Because you're beginning to understand!" His eyes were lit up, wide in his stretched face. The other backed away uncertainly. "..understand what?" The thin man straightend, withdrew his cigarette and flicked it over his shoulder unguided, where it landed perfectly centered on the tray behind him, extinguishing itself. His smile was erased, his eyes slitted and calculating. "The truth." The young man became aware of a strange glinting behind the thin man, in the corner of the room. Between the wall and ceiling an oily blackness was spreading slowly from someplace outside, like an inky stain spreading across the wall. Cold dread filled him, icy claws clutching his belly. Eyes wide, he turned to the thin man . "Who are you?" The man slowly shook his head from side to side, his expression unflinching, "Names are meaningless. I could be God himself or the Devil incarnate, both would be as true and false as anything else, wouldn't it?" The stain was spreading faster now, racing across the surfaces of the room, covering them in a shiny blackness as it went. The young man spun around to run, only to find the door was gone, as if it had never been built there. He turned back to the thin man, to see the blackness crawling up his legs, smothering him with darkness. Heart racing, he frantically looked for an escape. "Let me out!" The inky black now fully covering all but his face, the thin man smiled once more, teeth shockingly stark against the pervasive darkness. "Time to wake up, I think." With a shout, the young man wrenched himself up, halfway out of his own bed. He panted, cold sweat soaking his bedsheets and covering his face. He brought a trembling hand to his eyes, breathing heavily. What was going on? (Comment on this)
Monday, March 5th, 2007
9:48 am	My sister finds the most interesting surveys The Everything Test There are many different types of tests on the internet today. Personality tests, purity tests, stereotype tests, political tests. But now, there is one test to rule them all. Traditionally, online tests would ask certain questions about your musical tastes or clothing for a stereotype, your experiences for a purity test, or deep questions for a personality test.We're turning that upside down - all the questions affect all the results, and we've got some innovative results too! Enjoy :-) Personality You are more logical than emotional, more concerned about self than concerned about others, more religious than atheist, more loner than dependent, more lazy than workaholic, more rebel than traditional, more engineering mind than artistic mind, more cynical than idealist, more leader than follower, and more extroverted than introverted. As for specific personality traits, you are intellectual (80%), romantic (71%), artistic (66%). Stereotypes Punk Rock 60% White Trash 45% Prep 38%   Life Experience Sex 29% Substances 5% Travel 15% Politics Your political views would best be described as Liberal, whom you agree with around 68% of the time.   Socioeconomic Your attitude toward life best associates you with Middle Class. You make more than 0% of those who have taken this test, and 54% less than the U.S. average. If your life was a movie, it would be rated PG-13. By the way, your hottness rank is 64%, hotter than 90% of other test takers. TAKE THE TEST brought to you by thatsurveysite Pretty accurate, but White Trash? Huh?! So I'm the Archimedes of the trailer park or something :P Current Mood: amused (Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 14th, 2007
4:04 am	Motes on an endless breeze "We are what we think. Al that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world." -Buddha So its sometime between night and day, I'm awake beyond reason and I feel like writing. More than that, I feel like writing, you know? The muse is singing and I've been waiting for her song with anticipation. But this is all displacement. What I really want is to begin the great work, the plan, the big idea. I can't, though. Everything in a line; the chain of events is grasped one link at a time. But I felt like putting something down to share, so here it is: Perspective. Different from every person, on anything, at any time. What is your perspective, and do you understand why? Understanding. An unfinished book, never complete and always with empty pages at the end. Do you understand your stance of view? Place. We're bred and told and trained and brainwashed to work, work, work, work, die. Why are we blinded to the truth? Truth. Uncompromising, unpleasant, ugly. But without it we live misguided, faithfully accepting the falsehood we wrap around us. Life. There are as myriad paths to walk as there are feet to tred upon them. Destiny. Everyone has their road before them, but they must decide for themeselves if they wish to walk it. Current Mood: awake (Comment on this)
Thursday, January 18th, 2007
10:34 pm	Innerspace "I say, let me never be content. I say, let me never be complete. I say, evolve; and let the chips fall where they may." - Tyler Durden, Fight Club I composed most of this post while working on the Bowflex this evening, so its mostly about exercise 'n stuff. I don't think I've ever meditated on anything before. At least not in the cross-legged, eyes closed mantra-chanting sort of way. But I think I can understand something of it. Some people read a book or watch a movie, play a game or something for release, an escape from reality. Exercise is like an inner escape for me. When I run or lift weights, despite music or conversation or any other distractions around me, I am focused within out of necessity. Gradually everything fades into the background, my mind pulls away from what I'm doing and sinks below it; beyond reason or doubt or pain or even purpose. The secret, if there is any, is to not think about it. Thinking just muddles everything into a cloudy soup of maybe's and possibly's and distracts you from what your body is capable of. You let your thoughts drift away from trying to finish and you reinforce doing it. Breathing ties it all together. The lift. Breathe. Air rushing in, filling your lungs with new cool air, refreshing your body, tense for the impending effort. Breathe. Hot wind escapes your chest, strengthening you, muscles tense, fibres expand and tendons pull against bone. Lift. You don't think. All that is is now. The effort, the exertion, the accomplishment. Running is no different. Stride. Breathe. Pull. Contact. Stride. Breathe. Pull. Contact. The trick to this is not to get bored while you're jogging. Eventually the fatigue in your legs, the sweat clinging to you, the ache in your joints is all trivial. Background noise. Ambience. The mind wanders and you have all the time in the world to think of everything you want. Time. Realtivity. Try this sometime: Most people play music when the workout or go running. During a session, play a song or to you know really well; one you've memorized forwards and backwards, and preferably near the end of your workout. When you're completely committed to the effort, when nothing else in the world exists but you, listen to that song. Is the tempo different? Is it slower than you 've heard it before? Can you anticipate each note as it comes up, each sound? I don't claim to be the first to notice this or the only one who experienced it; I just want you to see it to. There are reasons I do this, things that may seem silly to an outsider, incomprehensible. But they are what drive me. Current Mood: thoughtful (Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 3rd, 2007
11:26 pm	My trip to Chi-Town. Or, how I spent my New Year's vacation. So this past week I got a rare break from work and responsibility by flying back to the midwest and visit with some friends and family. Good and bad, here's the highlights: Day 1: Fly out of New-New Willie airport on a Dash-8 aircraft. I use aircraft in the loosest of terms, as the experience is similar to being hurled through the air in a steel trash can with several large men beating on the outside with sticks. The connecting flight from Charlotte was in a much more reassuring standard commercial jet. Arrived in Chicago and more or less immediately began sightseeing. Remarkable locales: the Magnificent Mile, the old water tower (only surving structure of the great fire), Pizzeria Due (pronounced doo-ay, the second after Uno, get it?) and the view of the city at night from the top of the John Hancock building. Day 2: The Field Museum. Wow. Lots of excellent exhibits, artwork, and displays. Didn't get to see even half of what was there, including King Tut's burial swag. (separate wing and tickets - sold out!) Oh well. Drove up to Grandma's and met up with some cousins, aunts and uncles. Typical familial interaction (i.e. I become the family yardstick for the younger one's growth comparison, since I am the eldest, and the tallest). Day 3: Slack day - Travel to some of the nearby towns before eating at a local establishment. Got lots of strange looks (this is a small Wisconsin town of about 650 people) but still a friendly reception. Day 4: Drive out to the Great-Grandparent's and visit with the extended family. Very big gathering. Got a tour of the old, but recently renovated farmhouse. Saw some cows and about 30 barn cats. Some were friendly enough to begin climbing me as I tried to pet the others. More familial interaction. Check in to hotel that has interesting indoor pool and workout room. I take advantage of both. Day 5: Big family dinner before wasting time utnil midnight. Ring in New Year, then wander off to lobby/bar of hotel to kill time/alcohol buzz. Make friends with random lady before getting dirty looks from assumed boyfriend/husband. I couldn't help it, she liked my noise maker. Day 6: Sleep in, pack in, move out, pass out at Grandma's. Wake up to go see movie, the Good Shepherd. Cerebral, interesting, and very boring. Rent it if you really need to see it. Day 7: Get up at 4:30am to get in time to beat rush hour traffic around O'Hare. Spend ridiculous amount of time in lines, get to Philly. Switch to earlier flight back home in small jet, drive sister home and return myself. And thats it! It was sort of an extended Christmas/New Years holiday for me. Not really any exciting gifts to speak of, however I can say I have a pair of cybernetic running shoes now. Thats got to be worth something huh? Current Mood: refreshed (Comment on this)
Friday, November 24th, 2006
10:29 pm	The Sheeple says baah~ Hey, I was going to update today 'n' stuff. But, when I sat down to write at work, everything turned into OMGBLACKFRIDAYSHOPPINGLOLS so I didn't get a chance. Tomorrow then? I've had this creepy brief story (shorter than a short story!) crawling over my brain for a couple weeks that I've been meaning to get down on paper. Or the internets. It has scary stuff. Really. It might even turn into a part of taht on-going graphic novel I want to write. Yeah. Current Mood: tired (Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 8th, 2006
2:50 pm	Guitar Hero FTW! So. Something like two months (more like 5 on here :P) of no activity makes me - what? Prodigal? Uninspired? Lazy? Yeah - there we go. So I come back from, well lots of things, to find my blog box exploding with notifications and messages and event invitations and pron sites with webcams (we all get those right?) and I can't go over all that guys. Its just way too much to sort through the nothing to the something I'm afraid. If you're curious, I was more than a little preoccupied with falling love/getting dumped/getting over it in a span of a few weeks and these things have a way of skewing your priorities and distracting you from your hobbies that really make your day. Blogging ain't one of them, but its fun from time to time. Plus I kept my distance lest my writings became tainted by morose or angsty musings rather than what was really there to write about. But most recently I got to spend my weekend geeking out at Nekocon 9 at your local Hampton Convention Center. Thats right, a manga/anime/web comics convention. Oh the horrors, you say, the concentration of unnattractive socially inept human beings whose only outlet is to escape reality through fantastic stories and crazy seizure-inducing animation. Lo, I say unto thee, thou speaketh truth though thou knowest little of thy topic. -eth. For the community is much more vast than such meager descriptions can fully encompass, let me say this: The fans I met there and saw enjoying the convention are as diverse as you can imagine and more so. And there was plenty of very nice T&A in cosplay (thats like costume masquerade as your favorite game and or cartoon character for the uninitiated) but you have to wonder if that girl dressed as Camie from Street Fighter 2 is of the age, if you catch my drift. But I digress, it was tuns of fun and the dealer's room is a sight to behold, for therin lies the largest collection of overseas JUNK that I ever see at once. And I mean dvd's posters, clothing, books, a game room to play video games from overseas (or not), the video room, and just stuff as far as you can see. There was one place that shelves that went over your head like scaffolding. It was so packed I felt like Gandalf at Bag End trying to fit in there (hit my head more than once). I spent most of my time with my friend and cohort in artistry Phil in panel discussions about webcomics and online publications. It's not exactly broadcast that I co-author and plan his webcomic http://www.yoshsaga.com/ , but I can say I have some experience in the field, and we both learned quite abit from those who have been doing this much longer than either of us. Specifically I got to hang out with Dave Lister of Paradox Lost who answered a lot of our questions and had great advice to share. Plus he gave us free prints and t-shirts, how cool is that? And if you're going to go to one of these, bring as many friends as you can, its a lot more entertaining. My roomate took a lot of pictures of the cosplayers but unfortuantely he's out of town for two weeks in Panama, so I'm not sure if I can upload some for you soon or not. But What I really took away from this was an addiction to Guitar Hero. Oh-em-gee. If you have not tried this game GO OUT AND DO SO NOW. It falls into the "rhythm game" genre like DDR or Donkey Konga but it is infinitely more addictive and fun. And its Rock and Roll! The tracklist is pretty comprehensive so there should be something for everyone there: from Bad Religion (I'm looking at you Hax) to Motor Head, from Boston to Franz Ferdinand, from Black Sabbath to Sum 41 - its all there. And the sequel just came out! The Sword is on there! And Avenged Sevenfold! And TROGDOR! Du-du-du-dunnnn-du-du-du-dunnnn-du-du-du-DA-du-DA-du-dunnn! TROGDOOOOOORRRRR~! Yeah, so needless to say on the way home from Nekocon I stopped by your friendly wallyworld and aquired my new obsession. NExt gathering of gaming on consoles I'm bringing it and you will see just much awesome is packed into one dvd. Ok I think thats enough for now. I have work and it pays my electric bills. (Comment on this)
Friday, July 21st, 2006
10:58 pm	Call me Mr. Popular Actually no, don't. I mean, I wish, but don't. But it's odd, normally being socially introversive and otherwise avoidable, being out almost every weekend this summer for one get together, outing, date, and what-have-you-or-another. I suppose it helps that damn near all my friend's birthdays happen within a two week period it seems, (including my own) but thats stretching the truth a bit. It's more like 18 days. I have no excuse for abondoning the online blogging that so many of you (I think) have come to enjoy reading over the past year. With my job, questions on love, these aforementioned get-togethers, so many things I used to enjoy regularly fall by the wayside. I don't game very often anymore. Well I play FFO, but I dont' get out and game, rpg, or even pick up a playstaiton controller much if at all. I've neglected my pet projects like my friend's comic and all the little artsy things I used to do every now and then like painting and drawing. About the only thing I consistently keep up with is my exercise which has become ingrained into me at this point. So aside from seriously hurting myself or otherwise being incapable of doing so, I will continue until I die. At least, thats the plan. I think in an earlier blog I mentioned not having all the vices that normally mkae an interesting writer, which is true to an extent. I find its more difficult to sit and spill something on the internet as spontaneously as I once did, but maybe I'm just out of the habit. There's this amateur's writing/illustrating competition I should really do something for and enter, but the inspiration hasn't struck me yet. Something science fiction-ish. Hm... (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 3rd, 2006
12:11 am	Dry Spell No distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the friendship of those who are thoroughly persuaded of each other's worth. Robert Southey What can I say? Very little it seems. My weeks of silence are proof of that. I haven't been avoiding anything, or trying to stay distant, it just seems that life has been taking me that way lately. Though I will say being invited to get togethers and feeling like a fifth wheel isn't a lot of fun. But enough of that. Life - it gets in the way so much, doesn't it? But not in a bad way, I don't think. I just manage to keep myself busy and more or less preoccupied, rather than mopey or angsty or downright depressed - which is what usually drives me to type. I don't drink so I got to do something, right? I am a boring, boring artist, aren't I? No addictions, no drama, no self destructive tendencies, no exciting tales or misadventures - just everyday life. I suppose if I suffered more for my art I would have more to say about it, but thats not how it is. At least not now. I kind of want a recliner right now - hang on... Ah, much better. Hunched over a wireless keyboard sitting in your lap while in a dining room style chair that forces you to sit up straight or not at all isn't the most comfortable of working conditions. There, you see? I suffer even a little bit, and look at the conversation! So what can I say? Well I'm trying to build a new computer system, but DOA parts are slowing me down. I cook now! For money, no less, not just to turn inedible packs of processed proteins, minearls, vitamins and other bits into delectables. It means better hours, more pay (eventually, once I exclusively cook and prep for dinner at the restaraunt) and all around a more interesting day to day experience. We got new hires at work to, so them acclamating to the job and me getting used to them being around is interesting. Still working out, of course. Only person I know who does anymore, which is a shame. I kind of miss having a running buddy or at least someone to talk to at the weight machine. Just me, myself, and iTunes. Of course, just about all of my friends have girl/boy friends, are married or otherwise in relationships and I notice when you've got a sexual outlet you don't exercise. Guess thats my excuse - ain't gettin' laid, so I hit the weights. I can't deny its part of it, but I do enjoy physical activity (snicker), so fighting, training, weight lifting and running fill that void. Well, most of it. I'm still human, and everybody has their desires. I just hide it well. Well I just ran out of ideas. I'll come back when...I don't know. When its the right time. Current Mood: busy Current Music: iTunes (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, March 16th, 2006
10:28 pm	More ORCS http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=48978441&blogID=98329501&Mytoken=14413084-A2F4-1572-5EE0B46BEFC9683352328397 Pics for you, gentle readers. Please enjoy. (Comment on this)
Friday, March 10th, 2006
10:56 pm	As I sit and watch the sky, people stroll and pass me by... To lose one's self in reverie, one must be either very happy, or very unhappy. Reverie is the child of extremes. ~Antoine Rivarol You'll find me there more often than not. Especially with the weather so mild. Blue skys, slate waters, red bricks and colorful people passing the khaki sands. I'll be on that white stone bench, but the door. If you miss me, its not your fault. I'm not exactly trying to be found. I'm not one of the colorful people you'll see strolling the beaches, playing in the sand or holding hands with some sweetheart. Although I'll probably be enjoying a cool drink. A white styrofoam cup in hand, ice and water most likely. I'll sit on that bench and idly lean against the rough spackled wall behind it. Its a great place to listen, if you take a moment to stop and tilt your head. The hill and the building cup this bench and I, and things will drift over the wind here to this basin of sound. Carefree laughter between friends, the mocking calls of a seabird, the scratching of leaves against each other in the wind, all brought to me. Waves of it, not unlike the water lapping the dark sand, caress the solitude. I'll sit, and take it all in. As time slides past the clouds resemble the ladies out in the evening; blushed and trimmed in their fine. A bird will dive into the river, spearing a fish in its beak; a party across the way, visible through the picture window, enjoy a drink and a meal. Seems everyone is out for a bite, a good time, some comraderie or just to bleed off the stress of life. The day dies, and the sounds with it. The people wander off, the birds return to their roosts, the clouds wisp away to the horizon. The next act begins with an old friend: Diana glows down, the company of the heavens fading in slowly, casting their silver light across the water. I'll be sitting on that bench still, watching it shift and sort. So if you lose yourself in that peace I know too well, look around - I might be there. In a corner, a crook, tucked and out of the way; quiet and idly watching it unfold before me. If you do see me, wave hello as you pass on by. I'll lift my drink in return, a salute to you, sharing the moment. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 22nd, 2006
12:48 am	Oof, my talent. Hey - who's got ideas out there? I really need to get cracking on drawing some pictures again, but I need warm ups to get really flowing. I can think of what I want to do as a sort of project, but I'm having a hard time thinking of something to just hammer out as art fodder. Not really artist's block, more like artist's laziness stop-gapping the flow of creative juices. So comment with an idea, and if I like it, I'll whip something up and link it here for your enjoyment. Nothing crazy now, this is just supposed to get a fire lit under my ass, not slam me with a two-ton chum chum. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, February 16th, 2006
10:15 pm	My hobbies get more and more violent... Ok, so there's this group called ORCS. I'll spare you the boring details, but its basically this: A bunch of us get together every other Sunday, sometimes wearing rediculous costume, bring a bunch of PVC/foam simulations of swords, axes, flails, spears, javelins, arrows, greatswords, shields, etc, and have somewhat organized sessions of just wailing at each other. Seems like I'm getting into constantly more violent "sports". Anyway, its pretty dorky, but man, it was fun. Even getting hit full on in the face with a javelin was fun. Here's some pictures of last Sunday, down in Gosnold Hope Park. http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=48978441&blogID=88059966&Mytoken=1202F622-BF41-85DD-1710D06D8282612852033375 I'm the tall guy wearing all black, with the mud on his backside for the most part. I was invited by my friend Chad (Dargren, dude in the leather armor, plaid, and crazy long hair) to come out a couple weeks ago, so I said I go along this time. Lots of fun had all around. But the Romans are a bunch of pansies, hiding behind their tower shields and javelins. pfft. I think I will be a new addition to the cult of the Bear God Cath, and defend the country of Tyrcath from all invaders. Ulik Balls! Current Mood: pumped! (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, January 27th, 2006
10:11 pm	This just in... Tonight bore witness to a over a two hour ass-whomping in Gloucester. Eyewitness reports of twenty- odd men and women beating the living crap out of one another left onlookers in awe. After a mere 75 minutes, the field narrowed to less than half, as the struggle continued. Men lying on the ground, screaming in pain, pools of sweat and tears and tattered remainders of the area were a common sight. There were no survivors. Current Mood: rejuvenated Current Music: Rammstein - Dalai Lama (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, January 14th, 2006
12:54 am	The Quickening I need to get out. I need air. Now. I hustle past the brushed metal counters, the mustard yellow tiled walls with the ever-present film of grime and grease that stubbornly clings to the grout. Past the huge faded metal door with its gauges and unobtrusive handle. I can feel a chill wind blowing past my face as I reach my exit. A constant breeze passes through a fine metal mesh covering the only opening in the white door, curling up in the corner from some past misuse. I pull on the chill handle and step out in to the night. I stop and breathe deeply, but my heart continues to race. Like a dull roar, blood is rushing up my throat, through my ears and across my arms. The sun has set hours ago, the air still clings to the warmth of the day. Yet cool, as I can see the wisping fog of breath escape my open mouth. Plopping down on the grey stone bench outside the door I try to cool down. Even as I stare at wet concrete, I still can't slow my racing pulse. I don't feel panic. I feel imbued, like I'm pullling strength from some vast reservoir of energy. I glance up and around myself, but I'm alone; the lots are full and the sidewalk is empty of passer-bys. The orange glow of mercury lamps light the streets and brick facings around me. But when I look up, the lamp of heaven is shining on me. The bald moon stares back at me. Full, silver and unblinking in prominince. I can see the shimmering mirror of the black river under it, enhancing its glory. Unchallenged this night, the light of the cosmos bathes everything beneath it in a ghostly color. Before I realize it, a grin is splitting my face. My chest rises as breath runs through my nose, purifying. I understand now. Standing tall, I turn back to the door, smiling, steam curling off my scalp and bare arms. I revel in the flood of power surging within me. Fangs bared; I can do anything. I am unstoppable. Current Mood: energetic (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, January 7th, 2006
11:04 pm	Without the angst, there is no art! I want to apologize to everyone who had to put up eith me around New Years/ bothered to read my postings around then. I let myself get worked up and act on some temporary depression, which just makes me more pissed off than anything else. But, if I felt peachy keen all the damn time I probalby wouldn't get all the creative ideas I usually act on, and life would be very dull indeed. Though spending my Saturday nights working in the restaraunt and working out still sucks. I need to eat and pay the bills, and get in shape, but still, blech. Just to prove I'm not all gloom and doom, I'll say that I've got a good opportunity to work for a defense contractor in Florida, doing modeling and CG art, which is what I'm trying to do for a living. The guy who runs this particular team is also working on doing a video game, and needs a 3D modeler still which I've got my fingers crossed that I'll get picked up for that to. Its just the in I need to get some experience so I can work in the game industry. Here's hoping anyways. Well thanks to all my patient friends who somehow put up with me. Current Mood: tired (Comment on this)